Northern Rock to become sperm bank

Written by queen mudder

Monday, 17 September 2007

image for Northern Rock to become sperm bank
"Good morning Sir, Deposits or Withdrawals?"

City of London - (Ass mess): Northern Rock is to forfeit its banking licence and start again as a sperm bank according to City sources who say it's screwed up so badly the only deposits it will be allowed to take are the ones its tosser CEO Adam 'Adam's Apple' Applegarth is capable of.

"We should have seen it coming," A Financial Services Authority spokesman told the 9 o'clock News.

Northern Rock has lost nearly £4 billion in customer deposits after Prime Monster Gorgon Brown told UK voters last week that he'd appointed several Tory macro-economists to advise him on financial policy.

"You always know it's a stitch-up when they start rallying together instead of going for each others' jugulars like we expect them to," an analyst in Canary Wharf said today.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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