London - (Daftass Press): Jailbird and disgraced ex-spook David Shayler has said it the College of Psychic Sin London is where his first englightenment took place that has revealed him to be the born-again Messiah.
Shayler has been diagnosed as totally bonkers by MI5 shrinks who say that former KGB agents still living in London are notorious for using the College as a dumping ground for their toxic psycho waste and sponsor so-called psychic mediums to target vulnerable nutters into megalomanic delusions of grandeur.
"The give you a cup of herbal tea when you first arrive for your 'channeling' session in the South Kensington facility," a source has said.
"Ten minutes later after you've handed over your fifty quid you go into your designated session room where they pull the wool over your eyes with a 'genuine channeling' which pumps all kinds of suggestions into the feeble-brained.
"Certain key words are often repeated and a sub-acoustic signal is then relayed to you as the herbal tea gets to work on your right frontal lobe.
"It's a bit like hypnosis and takes a few days to penetrate deep into the sub-conscious where it begins to manifest through daftass dreams that tell you everything you ever wanted to hear about yourself."
Shayler has give a series of interviews this summer claiming to have decoded the Kabbalah and becoming so enlightened that he now has extraordinary powers to bend time/space.
Meanwhile at Thames House, MI5's HQ in central London, former spooky bosses are cock-a-hoop at the latest public humiliation of the idiot deskman who told the press ten years ago that they'd been plotting to urder Colonel Gaddafi.
"Whoever set him up with that stupid Psychic college may also have been a lynchpin in the Plutonium job on Litvinenko," insider sources said today.
