Diana tape secrets reveal nothing actually

Funny story written by Gareth Carpenter

Friday, 5 March 2004

image for Diana tape secrets reveal nothing actually
Diana - apparently her life was hell

Tapes on which Diana, Princess of Wales, tells secrets which everyone knew about eight years ago anyway, have sensationally been aired on US television.

The princess bitterly predicted that the media, finding nothing more interesting to write about, would constantly drag up stories of her suicide attempts, bulimia and despair at Prince Charles's affair with Camilla Parker Bowles.

"I'm sure they'll regurgitate the same old shit in three year cycles after I'm dead and gone," she said in the taped interviews. "It'll probably mean Andrew Morton will sell a few more books as well."

Record television audiences were in tears after tuning into NBC to hear the tapes. Viewers heard how Diana's ‘unhappy' childhood was compounded when her favourite band the Bay City Rollers broke up in 1976.

However, the Princess confessed that the ‘worst day of her life' was when she married Charles in 1981.

"It was an awful day," she said. "Not only did I have to kiss Charles, but both his parents as well."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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