Written by ranger121

Wednesday, 1 August 2007

image for Flood waters receding; Ark not finished
Noah: "Pleased with progress"

As is usual with large building projects in the UK, the Ark that is being built in Tewkesbury in response to the flooding is not yet ready for launch, and is already £15m over budget. The project was immediately put a week behind schedule when three carpenters went on strike straight after the commissioning, because they were not given the correct sort of waders.

Site manager Noah said, "It's been a long, hard slog, but the shape is beginning to come together. Fortunately, God did not have it rain for 40 days and nights as promised. If He had, we'd have been in real trouble. Anyway, now the dispute with the carpenters is over, we can hopefully get the Ark finished, and start collecting some animals."

An RSPCA inspector has been assigned to supervise the collection of the live cargo, but had doubts about space allocation. "The cargo area is a little small for two of everything. It's unlikely he'll get a certificate for two elephants anyway, and it's doubtful that there's two white rhinos left on the planet. So, all in all, it's unlikely to be a complete project."

The local council had originally objected to the site of the Ark, on the grounds that it was "not in keeping" with the neighbourhood, but relented when Noah applied for charity status.

Noah was hopeful for more rain, unlike local businesses. "Now we've got a bit more of the structure finished, and if the plan is to have any credibility at all, it's going to have to rain again. I don't think the locals will be too happy about that, but if it doesn't rain, we're going to have some serious egg on our faces"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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