London - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): Members of a Parliamentary Ethics Committee preparing to hear police evidence in the recent cash-for-peerages inquiry have been told that no charges were prought by the Crown Prosecution Service because it was protecting 'a disgusting secret about George Bush'.
"Just which disgusting secret that would be? We don't yet know," said one MP who had previously likened an alliance with Bush as tantamount to necrophilia with Hitler's corpse.
"There are so many.
"In fact over half of the classified material protected by the UK Official Secrets Act relates to perverted stuff about George Bush Senior, George Bush Junior and their relationship to the Puppet Monarchy," another MP confided as the House of Commons began winding down for the official summer recess.
"We estimate the UK taxpayer has forked out over £100 billion since 1957 in covering up, whitewashing, denying, protecting and generally dissembling all the criminal files it holds about the Bushes," a senior Law Lord added today.
"Actually, the British security service knows a hell of a lot more about this latest disgusting George Bush secret than it has ever let on.
"That's because previous toerags like Guy Fawkes, Lord Haw Haw, the traitor Anthony Blunt and the comic actresses impersonating the late Queen Mother and Princess Diana all have a huge connection to this final chapter of the George Bush outrage.
"It's all a matter of timing though. When Bush's last dirty secrets are outed in London we shall celebrate the occasion with a 41 gun salute in Hyde Park and a national event that will make the 4th of July seem like a damp squib by comparison!"
Lord Levy is cock-a-hoop are he prepares for the wedding of his dumbass son this weekend.
