Buckingham Palace - (Ass Mess): The Queen has said "Knickers!" to Joseph Corre, the Agent Provocatuer lingerie retailer who snubbed a MBE gong in the Birthday Honors.
And to ram the message home she has returned three truckfulls of bras, suspender belts, waspies, thongs, stocking, corselettes, panty-girdles, slips, petticoats, nighties, baby dolls, pyjamas, camiknickers, vests and assorted description-defying foundation garments back to the Agent Provocateur shop with a note saying she wants her money back.
Earlier in the day Corre told the press that because Prime Monster Tony Blair is such a corrupt bastard and incapable of doing anything honorable he would be rejecting the gong on ethical grounds.
His spokesman said today that the shop didn't know what it would do with all the returned underwear items but might flog them off on eBay 'to the US market where they're bound to be snapped up for sentimental value' - or exhibited at museums as curios.
Salman Rushdie, is 69.