Smoking Ban Causes People to Light-Up

Funny story written by JonSon

Friday, 25 May 2007

The Scottish smoking ban, instituted on 26 March 2006, has been proven to actually cause people to take up the habit.

A study conducted by the Open University has shown that more people smoke in Scotland now than before the ban was brought in. Academics have put this down mainly to the fact that traditional non-smoking drinkers are standing outside pubs with their smoking friends and starting themselves.

Patrick Fitzhenry, a former non-smoker from Glasgow said: "I'd still be a non-smoker if the ban hadn't been introduced in Scotland. I started because my mates would leave me alone for long periods in pubs and clubs whilst they went outside for a fag.

"Being an asthmatic I've always been against smoking but, you know, you can't put a price on friendship so I decided to join them."

The smoking ban is due to be enforced in England on 1 July 2007, when it is expected thousands of non-smokers will pick up a cigarette for the first time.

Large tobacco companies are looking forward to the ensuing profits windfall and civil lawyers are also preparing for a deluge of personal injury claims against the government when English drinkers, young and old, institute legal proceedings after being forced into smoking and becoming hooked on nicotine.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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