Stench Collection Makes Record Price at Auction

Funny story written by Martin Gooseflesh

Wednesday, 4 April 2007

image for Stench Collection Makes Record Price at Auction
William Shakespeare's codpiece - just one of the stenches In Colin Ragwert's record breaking collection

A collection of rare stenches was sold at auction on April 2nd 2007 for a record £1.8 million. Auctioneers Southeby's, of New Bond street London, are said to be amazed. A spokesman for the company said: "We can hardly believe it. Never before has a collection of this sort sold for more than £3.50. It is utterly fantastic."

Mr. Colin Ragwert, a 72 year old widowed grandfather of six, the owner of the stenches said today:"I have been collecting for forty years and it was with a heavy heart that I made the decision to sell. The simple fact is that I have recently lost my sense of smell due to an unfortunate pancacke tossing accident and am no longer able to enjoy my collection, so it had to go. I am flabberghasted at the amount of money it fetched."He added: "I'll give some of the cash to my children and then I'm going on a round the world cruise. After that I shall sit back and decide what to do next. The best thing is that I never have to worry about money again."

Renowned stench expert, Sir Farley Pillbox said: "I have been working with stenches for sixty years and in all that time I have never seen a more comprehensive collection than this. It is my firm belief that this is the most important stench collection of all time."

The collection, of more than 4,000 stenches, includes many rare and in some cases unique items, such as:

    The stench of General Custer's boots at the Battle of the Little Bighorn.

    The stench of what is reputed to be William Shakespeare's codpiece.

    The original smell of fear.

    The stench from the England changing room at the end of the 1966 World Cup final.

The collection was purchased by an anonymous telephone bidder, widely believed to be the well known eccentric American reclusive millionaire, Foster J. Shuttlecock III. It is not known at this time if the collection is to be kept privately or donated to a museum and displayed to the public.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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