Written by Gareth Carpenter

Wednesday, 7 January 2004

image for New online party reveals manifesto
"Prescott should lose some weight" - new manifesto

Your Party, the new political party that aims to break the mould of British politics by canvassing the opinions of hundreds of online participants, has revealed its new manifesto - with surprising results.

At the forefront of its campaign are policies to name all new-born babies in the UK ‘Hutton' and legally force Tony Blair to slug it out in a real live celebrity death-match with Michael Howard.

"Despite taking on board literally thousands of opinions from all over the country, the response was surprisingly uniform," said Your Party founder Dan Thompson. "Most participants said they wanted a new law in place that would make John Prescott sell his Jaguars and take the tube to work every morning so he could shed some pounds."

Another proposal, which has met with warm approval in the London area, is to ban people wearing Arsenal shirts in public places and also from saying the phrase "I'm a gooner."

However, some critics of the new party said computer hackers had managed to disrupt the canvassing process.

"I find it very suspicious that one policy, apparently supported by 456,000 online respondents, aims to legally bind women to walk around naked in shopping centres - just in the Bracknell area," said computer expert Geraint Tarrant.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Politics, british

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