Newscaster Furious Over Faulty Equipment Snub

Funny story written by Nick Hobbs

Friday, 1 January 2021

image for Newscaster Furious Over Faulty Equipment Snub
James Mates reporting from Brussels earlier today.

Veteran ITN News reporter James Mates is said to be furious with ITV bosses over an apparent vendetta they have against him, which appears to be spilling out into his newscasts.

Regular viewers of the news programme in the UK have noticed how every time the studio cuts to him, he appears to be broadcasting from a hand-held mobile 'phone, rather than a proper camera and crew. And not a fancy smart 'phone - one of those old Motorola Razr flip-phones!

The picture is either out of focus or is so pixelated, that the image is unidentifiable. And the sound often cuts in and out, or disappears altogether.

An inside source told us: 'He's not happy. In fact, I'd even say he's furious. You can use that in your headline, if you want. Yeah, furious!'

The reporter has been seen outside the EU headquarters in Brussels out of focus, in a charming nightime Italian countryside backdrop out of focus, and even in the port of Calais out of focus. In the latest snub, he was frozen mid-sentence, and then the feed was lost completely. They handed back to the studio anchor, who was wearing a wry, knowing smile.

Fellow reporters are said to be on their guard. Our source told us 'the bosses need to tread carefully. James knows people. Important people. He'll only take this for so long. He's been reporting overseas for many years. He's made a lot of friends. That's all I'm saying.'

Details of what caused the snub are unclear at this time.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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