Blair Summons Ministers To Halt Damaging Leaks

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 13 February 2007

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Things hotting up for Blair?

Prime Minister Tony Blair has called an emergency meeting of the Cabinet next week in a bid to address the cracks that are threatening to split Downing Street apart.

Mr Blair and his ministerial colleagues have also been beset by a number of significant leaks which have been untimely, to say the least, and have potentially undermined the security of the country.

The first leak, last Thursday, was due to a blockage in the women's toilets on the first floor. Plumbers were called and a dead otter found, but, due to its size, it could not be removed immediately. Consequently, Mr Blair's private office downstairs was flooded with foul-smelling brown water.

Eventually, Margaret Beckett, thought to be "she who dealt it", rolled up her sleeves and saved the day.

The second leak came at the weekend when, as a result of the extreme cold temperatures, pipes above the Security office froze and burst. This put in danger all the files held on terror suspects, as well as "significant amounts" of information relating to the 'Cash for Peerages' inquiry - information the Police requested just days earlier.

The plumbing at No. 10 has always been a problem, and the building itself is situated on dodgy, boggy marshland without proper foundation - much the same as the governments housed therein.

The structural design of the building has meant that several cracks have appeared in the walls and, it is feared, the whole government may soon come crumbling down.

If that wasn't bad enough, vandals stole the nameplate on the door last month, and replaced it with a new one that reads First Lord of the Treachery - a title that reflects Blair's complicity in the Iraq scandal.

Asked for his reaction to the leakages, Mr Blair beamed as he laughed "Knee deep in water? Well, it makes a change from being knee deep in shit!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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