Turkey Manipulators Force Freshwater Fowl To Action

Written by Wildjesusfishkid

Monday, 29 January 2007

image for Turkey Manipulators Force Freshwater Fowl To Action

Turkey Manipulators in Norfolk have ducks and geese spitting feathers in the latest round of talks that has crippled UK Turkey breeding over the past few weeks.

Turkey manipulators have long been a crucial part of the mating process for hybrid Norfolk birds for many years but now Union officials say that enough is enough. The manipulator who's main function is to help support and guide the heavy cock bird into a comfortable position in order to promote easy access and generally introduce him to the female bird. This task has become more and more important over the centuries due to hormonal changes caused by global warming which have caused the turkeys to outgrow their legs.

A spokesman for ducks and geese said that this puts unnecessary pressure on the already overstretched duck and goose population, particularly during migration and over Bank Holidays.

In protest, ducks and geese have abandoned all freshwater in England and Wales and are currently forming up in groups according bill size just off of the coast of East Sussex. They are refusing to show themselves to bird watchers and many are disguising themselves as seabirds in an effort to remain unseen. Even members of the RSPB are affected. They say they will continue with this action until the manipulators shave and return to work.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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