Written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 17 January 2007

image for 10-Year-Old Boy Gets Telegram From Queen In Birthday Blunder
How bitter is this sentiment now

Ten-year-old Matthew Oldman of Prestwich in Greater Manchester had a birthday surprise to beat them all recently - a telegram of congratulations from HR the Queen.

He didn't immediately spot the error, wishing him a Happy 100th Birthday, and excitedly showed the card to his mum and dad.

"We realised straight away what had happened", said his father, Dirky, a road sweeper, "but this sort of thing isn't on!"

Buckingham Palace officials apologised for the gaffe, saying that it was down to a computer error.
"Our software, like the Royal Family itself, is outdated", said Ronald Treason, who was then whisked away to the Tower of London for an early-afternoon beheading.

Experts say the Palace database misread Matthew's age as 100 instead of 10, the mistake being compounded by his surname.

"It's a freak accident", said analyst John Elton, "a bit like Camilla Barker Powles", before he, too, was arrested.

Yesterday, Matthew was unavailable for comment after consulting his solicitor about filing for a £100million lawsuit against the Royals.

Sue Yorass of Yorass, Hisass & Therass Solicitors said, "Matthew has suffered incalculably over this birthday blunder. He deserves some recompense, and we intend to get our cut."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
80 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more