No man is an island - or is he?

Thursday, 6 December 2018

image for No man is an island - or is he?
Oi, tubby, get back in the ocean!

The saying "no man is an island" is meant as a literal comparison to say that no human being is a piece of land surrounded by water. It was always true, until now.

Geoff Kamehameha is a Samoan who used to live on an island in the south Pacific which has now disappeared underneath the waves. Yet Geoff, who possesses an impressive girth of 3 metres (that is belly girth, not penis girth) still lives on the sunken atoll and is now technically himself an island.

The fat Polynesian has been picked up on Google Earth at the coordinates -13.646243, -172.687400 alongside many of his drowning friends, not far from the main island of Samoa itself.

Mr Kamehameha says that he is happy with the new arrangements, as he no longer needs to worry about going to the toilet or having a shower, and can lie in the watery ocean all day long while his skin wrinkles. He lives off plankton, like the lardarsed whale that he is, and occasionally bottom feeds.

He has applied for nation status and plans to become an independent country.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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