M16 Declassifies Extensive File On The Trotter Family

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Sunday, 21 May 2017


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Evidence gathered by the M16.

LONDON- The M16 declassified the former Foreign Secretary's voluminous file on the Trotter family, after much hesitation, sources revealed Tuesday.

"An astonishing 5,0170 documents show that the London Trotter family were of important interest to the Foreign Secretary during his unwarranted intelligence-spying campaigns," said David Starkey, a British History professor at Cambridge.

The professor adds that from 1981-91 the SIS chief had gathered various tapes of the Trotters and instructed M16 agents to document all conversations of the Flat 127 Nelson Mandela House, in Peckham, South London.

"According to numerous letters to officials, the Foreign Secretary suspected that Trotter family patriarch Uncle Albert or code name "plonker" was a communist working get rich schemes in his flat after evidence surfaced of him buying and selling a variety of poor-quality, illegal Russian goods, such as Russian Army camcorders, luminous yellow paint and Russian sex dolls filled with an explosive gas.

Del Boy is also suspected of plotting with Denzil Tulser a suspected British Muslim of staging Muslim marches in London in defiance of the Crown.

The Foreign Secretary was also convinced they were using the tower at Nelson Mandela House to send coded messages to either the Russians or radical separatist political groups in London.

A file was opened on Trigger and Mickey Pearce accusing them of being lovers and drinking heavily at pubs."

Experts are questioning the reliability of the information gathered.

"Only a fool or a horse would believe bluebottle rubbish of that sort," argues prison lesbian, Shauna Hoare, 21.

Several documents also reportedly showed that the Foreign Secretary had directed M16 agents to follow the Trotter bunch and to recruit Casandra Trotter as an informant.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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