The Lib-Dems are Absolutely Not going to reshuffle themselves and give roles to more lady M.Ps in the government because the ladies are not present in great enough numbers to properly shuffle about, an exasperated spokesperson said this morning.
"We don't just copy Cameron every time he does something, even though we could if we wanted to, so there !! We have shuffled people about all over the place before and sacked people just like proper political parties do.
We have better things to do than shuffle M.P.s anyway. Our Headquarters Portakabin in Slough B & Q car park is being shuffled out of the way of some car park improvements so we have all taken the opportunity to democratically choose some paint from B & Q and we will all soon be mucking in to start wallpapering the inside room. We have had the eggs that the University students threw removed from the exterior of the hut.
Strategically I suppose it would be better to wait until after the election for any ministerial re-shuffles because there might only be Cleggy left and he most certainly doesn't want to shuffle himself in public."