Howard to move Tory HQ to Margate

Funny story written by Gareth Carpenter

Thursday, 20 November 2003

image for Howard to move Tory HQ to Margate
Michael Howard - the new Margate Thatcher?

New Tory leader Michael Howard has unveiled controversial plans to switch constituency to the seat of Margate - and move Conservative Party headquarters to the seaside town's famous fun fair.

Howard has been MP for Folkestone and Hythe since 1983 - but wants to move up the road to Margate amid fears that he could be voted out in the next General Election.

Tory spin doctors are concerned that Howard's dashing young image is too progressive for the sleepy Kent backwater and have urged him to up sticks and establish himself in upbeat trendy Margate.

"In many ways it was those blustery Sunday afternoons spent walking up and down Margate promenade that inspired me to enter the world of politics," said Howard in a statement. "By relocating both myself and the party there, I am sure that we can build a platform on which our future hopes may flourish."

Conservative plans centre around basing the party HQ on the site of the town's legendary Dreamland Fun Fair where Howard is said to have spent many days of his youth.

A party spokesman said that Margate was symbolic for Tory morale and the proposed fun fair site "in many ways mirrors recent Conservative Party fortunes".

"Dreamland was at its height during the heady days of the eighties but fell into disrepair in the nineties, and has since been regarded as shabby, ramshackle, outmoded and rather dated," he explained. "What better base from which to propel ourselves in the future?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics



Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Subscribe…
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot