Government Crackdown On Rude Vegetables

Written by Darwin

Friday, 4 October 2013

image for Government Crackdown On Rude Vegetables
Parsnips such as this one will be affected by the crackdown

The government has announced a crackdown on suggestively-shaped vegetables following numerous complains from the public.

In one incident, Olive Lilley from North Kensington had an unfortunate encounter with a phallic potato. Lilley, 82, had just opened a bag of spuds when she came face to face with the offending tuber.

Says Lilley: "I was making some chips for dinner when I pulled the potato out of the bag. My false teeth nearly flew across the room when I saw it. I felt violated."

A spokesman for the Vegetables And Greens Integrated National Association (V.A.G.I.N.A) said, "What happened to Mrs Lilley was very disturbing, but we all had a good laugh about it at head office."

Under new laws to be announced later this week, rudely-shaped produce will be available only on the top shelf of vegetable aisles, and retailers will be legally restricted to selling them only to creepy looking men wearing dirty raincoats.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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