Shock for Non Voters

Funny story written by j.w.

Saturday, 2 March 2013

image for Shock for Non Voters
Non Voter Jim Snout

A worrying trend for non voters emerged at the Eastleigh by election when 53% of the electorate voted. Out political correspondent tried to find a non voter representative but there appeared to be only one spokesman available.

Jim Snout, a veteran non voter said he had called a meeting but no one came. 'I'm worried' he said 'this marks a disturbing confidence in the political parties which is quite unjustified.'

He was asked if he could not find a candidate to vote for among the candidates for Loony Tunes or Ending Life on Earth but he dismissed them as unworthy of consideration. 'They will never get in so why bother' he said.

Snout mentioned his former wife as a non voter but he didn't know where she was. Checking passers by in the constituency I could only find people barricading their houses against the 'immigrant invasion' of 'millions of people who want to get benefits'.

A by election with a majority voting is almost unknown. Snout mourned the day but recalled the brilliant day when 95% had not voted for a Police Commissioner. 'That was a tremendous show of solidarity' he asserted.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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