Popular Children's Entertainer Uncle Jake McRaffles not a Peado after all

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Sunday, 13 January 2013

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Uncle Jake's Comedy Specs

With Operation Yewtree cutting a swathe through the childhood nostalgia of 30 and 40 somethings up and down the land, it may surprise many to learn that creepy 1980s children's entertainer Uncle Jake McRaffles was not a nonce, as many had suspected, but had rather different sexual proclivities.

Uncle Jake, who's buck-toothed grin and giant comedy spectacles were a familiar feature of children's television though out the 70s and 80s was best known for kids' TV classics such as "Let's play with Uncle Jake's Pole", a children's quiz show that incorporated a giant maypole, and "Let's Get It On with Uncle Jake", a popular 1980s music show aimed at teenage girls.

A widely held perception was that Uncle Jake was a closet kiddy fiddler, however a surprise discovery at his former home has cast doubt on this.

Derek Dido, Jake's former Manager and oldest friend explains:

"After Jake's death, we had to work out what to do with his personal effects. Jake was a bit of a hoarder and when we went to visit his mansion we found room after room filled with all sorts of stuff. It was like an Aladdin's cave. In one of the rooms, we discovered that he had amassed quite a collection of adult orientated material. There are boxes and boxes of videos and magazines with titles like Mature MILFs, The Older the Better, Dirty Old Maids and Randy Grannies."

It seems, rather than having an unhealthy obsession with prepubescent girls, as many had suspected, that Jake was an admirer of the more mature end of the spectrum, and with several high profile household names being accused of sexual offences, the news of Jake's Wrinkly-Porn fetish is being seen as a welcome development.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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