BBC Presenter Doucet Pulled from Screens

Funny story written by Janet Hedges

Sunday, 6 August 2006

image for BBC Presenter Doucet Pulled from Screens

British TV presenter Lyse Doucet has announced she has a plan which may halt the hostilities in the Middle East. Speaking live on BBC World TV from Beirut, she appealed to Arab and Isreali leaders to, "get round a big table and sort it all out over a few beers".

The on-air outburst took BBC controllers by surprise. BBC Spokesman John Lyon downplayed Ducets newly unveiled initiative, saying "she is under a great deal of stress and constantly standing in front of a building in Beirut ad-libbing and interviewing any passers by. I think she needs a break".

Doucet, 60, was taken off air after she suggested a list of venues leaders where leaders could meet, "I like the Savoy in London, they have conference facilities and there is a fantastic hotel just of the M1 which also has a pool and sauna".

Doucet , a Canadian born gymnast is said to be resting at the plush Commadore Hotel in Beirut city centre with her dogs and family.

Professor Mike Williams, a media expert said she is suffering from to much exposure to the camera, "she is always on the bloody telly, everytime I switch on it's Lyse Doucet gibbering on. Little wonder most people watch Euro News and CNN. She needs a holiday for a couple of years".

It's not the first time Doucet has made the headlines in the past year. In March she was fined 400 pounds for keeping African Monkeys in her London apartment and in 1997 she was convicted of urinating into radio host Terry Wogan's coffee. Wogan was taken seriously ill after drinking the contaminated beverage.

Known in BBC circles as a 'live wire' Doucet has ambition to one day present Look North, the BBC's regional news programme in Yorkshire.

In recent years, her work has taken her to Manchester and Glasgow to present extensive coverage of the aftermath of Tony Blair's election win, and to the capital for the illness and death of the Queen mother.

She played a key role in BBC coverage of the Mr Universe contest in 1999.

Before joining the BBC's team of presenters she spent 18 years as a receptionist/waitress in the Sea-Surf hotel in Norwich.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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