A hungry man, known only as Homo Sapiens, has been arrested after he shouted at two suspect hamburgers on an unarmed hot-dog stall somewhere in East Midlands.
Police are reluctant, at this stage, to disclose any further details due to the unusual nature of the crime, and the identity of the alleged person.
Observers of human nature reckon he has been around for a long time. So it seems plausible that he could correctly recognize a suspect hamburger.
Detectives are trying to piece together various events leading up to the shouting, as well as the remaining fragments of the hamburgers, which were badly damaged by the raucous decibels of the horrific shouting.
Officers from the Food Hygiene Department are issuing warnings to local hot-dog stalls advising them to watch out for other members of the Homo Sapiens gang, whose numbers are said to be "increasing rapidly", according to evolutionary biologists.