Written by queen mudder

Sunday, 15 April 2012

image for Black Fox of Bassingbourn's twin brother 'causing terror in St John's Wood'
Primrose Hill could be next as the feral marauder targets luvvies

London - An extremely rare black fox mown down last month in a Bassingbourn, Cambridgeshire hit-n-run may have a secret twin sibling in North West London according to reports.

"Damn beast's got an evil doppelganger," St John's Wood resident Major Algy Beagle said this weekend amid reports that a massive jet-black wolf-sized fox was on the rampage in NW8.

Other locals have confirmed the sighting sparking fears that a monster is stalking the well-heeled residents of the up-market enclave.

On Thursday owners of a nearby deli said they'd seen the huge dark-furred marauder staring malevolently at a bratwurst delivery to their shop near the High Street post office.

A neighboring pizzeria later notified police that a 'Beast of Bodmin' sized 'black panther' had been raking over dustbin contents, maybe foraging for leftover crusts.

Then on Saturday a lady from Northwick Close reported being frozen out from her home because the massive ebony-colored beast - plus some regular gingery vulpine chums - was on the rampage barring her access.

The poor dear became petrified in case of a sudden attack by the wolf-sized prowler and its gang.

"Luckily a neighbor wielding a blowtorch came to my rescue," retired civil servant Mrs Hilda Gasket told reporters from QM-NewsCorpse, "and gave the bastards a run for their money!"

The smell of singed brush still lingers in St John's Wood High Street where shopkeepers are petitioning for the return of the Regent's Park Hunt.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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