A dangerously ugly strain of graffiti is threatening to sweep major cities in the North.
It is believed to have been brought back by British tourists returning from the Spanish Costas, where it has been rife in recent years.
In the last week, thousands of inner-city dwellers have been waking up in the mornings to face ugly effrontery.
"It must be a silent strain," said one affected resident. "Nobody ever hears it coming."
Large groups of 'vigilant guardians' have been set up on the Costas to monitor the epidemic as it spreads throughout Europe. And in Sunderland, hundreds are volunteering to join all-night vigils.
"It just appears by itself when no one is looking," observed one concerned guardian.
"I was standing there keeping guard near this white wall. I bent down to pick up a bit of litter and when I looked up the wall was covered in graffiti. It looked like one of those aggressive strains, and I thought it might come after us next. So, me and my mates ran back home. I was lucky I didn't catch anything. But when I got up next morning, it was all over our back wall."
Irish graffiti has been appearing on the inside and outside of many cheap-flight aeroplanes flying to and from Spain. Airline officials are determined to stamp out this spreading graffiti by increasing their cleaning rotas from once-yearly to twice-yearly.
Biological environmentalists are currently working on new 'self-defensive' strains of graffiti which they hope will attack virulent strains and wipe them out.
