Storm clouds are gathering over the normally genteel coast of East and West Sussex. The great and good of Eastbourne and Hastings are at eachother's throats over which resort can boast the title of 'sunniest place in the UK.' Eastbourne appear...
The showbiz universe was rocked to its very foundations this evening as revelations surfaced that Worthing based lothario and viagra addict, Alf Starling (Aged 104 today - Happy Birthday Alf!) had retired for an early night, after consuming what appe...
International authorities investigating a spate of cyber attacks are concentrating their efforts on the UK south coast town of Worthing. Recent attacks, described as an epidemic by security specialists, have seen US defence officials' e-mails hack...
A strange new book, entitled 'The Dorking Review' may not be taking the world by storm, but it's going down a bomb in Worthing...and, surprisingly enough, Dorking. Booksellers and librarians in the aforementioned towns report receiving orders and...
Senior detectives based in the once sleepy seaside coastal town of Worthing, admitted today that they are "absolutely baffled" as to the purpose behind the so-called 'Worthing Code' - a system of communications devised by somebody in Worthing, which...
Residents of Worthing were left in a state of shock and awe today, after a gay dog ran amok on Worthing seafront, trying to pump up any dog unfortunate enough to cross its path. Witnesses described the dog as 'a big brindle type thing with short stub...
The appearance of a hairy biker straddling a Harley Davidson caused quite a stir in the sleepy seaside resort of Worthing this morning. Eye witnesses stated that the hairy biker parked his machine in the multi-storey car park, and then proceeded on f...
Whilst you may never have thought of Worthing as a 'city', an international panel of Pikey travellers has decided otherwise. In a recent liveability survey, carried out by the Pikey Ford Transit Van Club of Europe and The Americas, the former West S...
Midnight in Worthing is unlike midnight in any other British town or city. There is much about Worthing that is dark, evil, twisted, and best left unsaid. It has become apparent that Worthing is rapidly overtaking the world's leaders in the sleaze...
Worthing lifeguard, Eric Clutterbuck, 76, was astonished to see a great white shark basking in the shallows of the English Channel, just off the coast of Worthing. "I wasn't sure at first," he told reporters. "I had to go and fetch me specs from m...
South coast kebab and burger entrepreneur Ali Bullo has blamed the recent unrest in Worthing on crap burgers and kebabs. Ali Bullo explained that, being elderly mobility scooter riders and decadent MILF's, most of the troublemakers couldn't handle...
Soixante Neuf Films is promising "new birds and blokes" in it's latest reality programme The Only Way Is Worthing. A host of glamorous locations have been lined up, including the Worthing Pavilion Bowls Club, where 93 year old Doris Slapper, a re...
There's something fishy going on in the south coast resort town of Worthing. It can be scented, as it wafts on warm summer breezes. It smells like fish, but it isn't fish - it's the odour of enthusiastic, verging on manic - sexual activity. And...
Sussex Police were on high alert today preparing to defuse trouble between rival sets of south coast gangs in Worthing. Residents of the resort are anxiously awaiting the arrival of gangs of pensioners from along the coast at Littlehampton. "We...
Following the recent popularisation of the sleepy Sussex seaside town of Worthing, which has recently been overrun with mobility scooter 'Hell's Angels' riders and zimmer frame hooligans, local kebab and burger van entrepreneur, Ali Bullo, has added...
Bored Worthing pensioners have caused outrage in the South Coast resort after another night of rioting and looting. A gang of rowdy geriatrics were spotted outside the town's Oxfam Shop with piles of clothing, books and broken records strewn all...
Retired cinema usherette Marjorie Fosdyke-Spratt has set tongues wagging in Worthing. Miss Fosdyke-Spratt, who is 102, was discovered under West Pier slumped over her zimmer frame with her knickers in a twist. PC Eric Nonce feared that the pens...
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