'Mental' new royal yacht plan bombs as Prince Jefri Archer offers to hire out his 'Tits'

Funny story written by queen mudder

Monday, 16 January 2012

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Lying in shallow waters off Skegness today

London - Sad-ass Education Secretary Michael Gove's diamond jubilee brainwave hit the rocks today...much like the 'hexed' Costa Concordia on Friday the 13th.

Widespread national derision about schmoozing the Windsors with a brand new £60 million floating gin palace saw the genius bung quickly torpedoed.

Now in its place comes a tempting offer from the Sultan of Brunei's jailbird brother, owner of the eponymous ocean-going yacht 'Tits'.

"It could be the perfect compromise," tits-over-arse sources commented, "Prince Jefri's boat is the perfect totem for showing off one's humungous regal pretensions."

Reports that the princeling's motor yacht had previously 'trained' the Costa Concordia skipper and chief navigator are, of course, rubbish - someone at the Brunei Admiralty said at lunchtime.

"Those guys are probably veterans of the Exxon-Valdez and the Herald of Free Enterprise," Brunei First Sea Lord Sir Bagram Pugwash quipped.

"Wanna see pics of the Tits maiden voyage over the Baring Dire Straits?"

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