Humber Bridge Debt and Tolls Scrapped

Funny story written by Joe Leff

Tuesday, 29 November 2011

For years campaigners against Humber Bridge tolls have voiced fears that the huge debt will never be repaid. The cost for a single car crossing the bridge was recently increased from £27 to £30. The Humber Bridge Board said the rise was necessary to ensure that the £300 million debt (the accrued interest on a Government grant) is repaid by 2032.

But leaders of Humber Bridge Action Against Tolls have had enough. "We feel as though we are on a road to nowhere. They should be scrapped."

This triggered a master plan which was quickly put into action last night, when the Humber Bridge Board pulled off a remarkable deal with local scrap metal merchants. Overnight, the bridge was stripped of all metal, and this fetched £300 million (in £50 and £20 notes) when off-loaded at hundreds of scrap yards on both sides of the Humber.

So, this huge debt can now be finally paid off - in cash. And the bridge tolls have also been scrapped - as were the toll-booths themselves.

Campaigners celebrated this morning by waving at each other from both sides of the River Humber.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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