Somalian Football Federation Organise Friendly for Victims of Humanitarian Crisis

Written by Mark MacDonald

Friday, 12 August 2011

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The Team Bus heads to the stadium

The Somalian Football Federation yesterday agreed to hold a money spinning testimonial for victims of a humanitarian disaster.

Dekedaha have agreed in principle to play League Champions Super Shell at the Black Hawk Down Stadium in Mogadishu.

The money raised will be used to help victims of the London riots.

Bander Jahadah a part time pirate explained. "Well I seen the sad pictures being beamed to my tree house of the riots in London. Its so very sad, so us Somalians have to give our poor friends in the United Kingdom all the help we can. Would you like some goat testicle soup. A fellow countryman of yours enjoyed it very much. You know him Bear Grylls? Nice man."

The hastily agreed friendly game will also coincide with the National Holiday for the 19 anniversary of the movie Black Hawk Down.

Ewan McGregor the Last King of Scotland and Somalian Presidential Candidate will also be a celebrity guest. "Its an absoulute pleasure, I have supported Dekedaha since I came to Mogadishu with the US Rangers and I haven't left since. I even filmed most of the Long Way Round and the Long Way Down here. The Somalian people are so generous and what a gesture to the poor and needy people of the United Kingdom. It's really all we can do. get down get down its an RPG. Phew that was close."

Ross Kemp who was filming a movie about gangs said "Are you in a gang? No okay I don't want to talk to you. Go away"

A local resident, Kate Adie Was Here, of Rubbish Tip a suburb of Mogadishu asked us to move on before speaking to us about the match "I need to be quick as I'm on overtime. I'm boarding a Super Tanker from Saudi Arabia and we are going to hold the crew and cargo to ransom. I think Super Shell will win, I got a couple of camels on it. My heart goes out to the people of London. Thank you and good bye"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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