MIAMI, FLORIDA-- One week ago, an announcement was made by Miami Dolphins owner, Wayne Huizenga, that star runningback, Ricky Williams, failed a third drug test, and was being released by the Dolphins. Today, at a press conference in downtown Miami, Williams had an announcement of his own to make.
A large crowd gathered, including a vast number of reporters, to await Williams' arrival at the podium on the stage. Finally, Williams walked up the stairs of the stage, almost tripping over the last step, and laughing uncontrollably. "Oops, almost dropped my bag of Cheetos," said a glazed Williams on the microphone.
Williams then went on to tell the crowd about his future plans after being laid off by the Dolphins. "A lot of you people might assume that I am just going to become a great big loser, now that I have been fired," explained Williams. "Well, you're all wrong," he said quietly.
"I have already, as I speak to you today, started a season on NFL Gameday 2005 back at my apartment," he said calmly. "I only have about thirteen more games left to complete, as well," he told the stunned crowd.
"It's so awesome, you guys! I don't ever even have to go to practice anymore! I just wake up every afternoon at about 3:45, and smoke about a half ounce, and play my Playstation. There are no mean coaches or know-it-all fans to answer to, just me. I call the plays."
After that quote, fans began to leave the press conference scene in droves. Some fans were even interviewed about what had just happened. Most fans expressed grief about the situation, saying that Williams was such a loser for this, and was a bad role model to area teens and children.
One fan, however, said that he wanted to get high with Williams, and he thought he could even beat him at NFL Gameday 2005. "Dude, can you imagine getting high and playing Playstation with Ricky Williams?" said area stoner, Calvin Downing. "I always knew he was a stoner - just look at him!"
After the press conference, Calvin was introduced to Ricky. They hit it off immediately. Witnesses say they started rambling on about nothing, and things that didn't make any kind of sense, but it was certain that the two of them thought it was very important, because they were so damn high. The two of them were then seen ordering an extra large meat lover's pizza, and taking it back to Williams' crib to play some NFL Gameday.