South African 'Blade Runner' Escapes From Court

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 14 September 2009


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for South African 'Blade Runner' Escapes From Court
Boing! Boing! Boing! There he goes!

South Africa's paralympic athlete Oscar Pistorius, known as the "Blade Runner", sparked a major controversy today at a Pretoria Magistrates court hearing where he was being charged with assault.

As the Judge read out the 'Guilty' verdict, Blade Runner, who has springy metal legs, sprang into the air, over the jury and out of the court into the street outside. He then escaped by vaulting onto a low roof, then disappeared across the city skyline and into the heart of the Pretorian metropolis.

Police Sergeant Miranda Stoltz told the BBC that a couple at the Blade Runner's Saturday night party began "screaming at each other", prompting the host to tell the pair to go and argue outside.

The woman later returned to the house and tried to re-enter the house, but Runner allegedly slammed the door, injuring her leg. Police arrested him, and scheduled his court appearance for today.

At the hearing, Runner showed no remorse, even commenting that, as he had been dealt a bum deal (his legs are off at the kness), he didn't see why someone else shouldn't suffer. He admitted trying to shear-off the legs of the woman.

When the Judge came to pass verdict, however, Runner had obviously made up his mind to avoid a jail term, and made good his escape using his Boing-Boings.

Police say Runner may have bounced to London to prepare for the 2012 Olympics in which he won't be allowed to run.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more