O.J. Gets Work Release

Funny story written by debuss

Wednesday, 15 July 2009

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The Nevada Department of Corrections and the National Football League have worked out a work release program for former Buffalo Bills Super Star and convicted felon O.J. Simpson.

In the deal Simpson will be allowed to leave his maximum security prison for up to 12 hours a day to coach the NFL's newest expansion team the Las Vegas Gamblers.

Sources within the Department of Corrections confirmed that Simpson has been allowed to leave his cell and the prison grounds unescorted daily for the last week. "This is a great privilege for inmate Simpson" said an unnamed source "this is a maximum security facility. Most inmates remain in their cell for 23 hours a day"

The work release program for Simpson does come at a cost though. According to the President and CEO of the Las Vegas Gamblers, Pete Rose "O.J. will have to forfeit 75% of his salary to pay for his room and board at the Grey Bar Hilton."

It is unclear at this time who will be paying the costs of transporting the former all pro running back from his desert digs to the new Gold Digger Stadium in Las Vegas some 225 miles east. For the last week Simpson has been catching a chartered helicopter in the yard. However, the warden has expressed concerns that the dust kicked-up by the helicopter could be harmful to the prison staff. "Especially the tower guards, the union will have a field day at the States expense if blowing sand gets in their eyes" said Warden Gene Crabtree.

All attempts to contact Simpson's attorney were unsuccessful although his office did issue a statement confirming that O.J. was in the employee of the NFL expansion team.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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