Chelsea FC part with Carlo Ancelotti

Funny story written by Alex Hill

Monday, 1 June 2009


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Chelsea FC have sensationally sacked manager Carlo Ancelotti within 6 hours of him being appointed in the role. The 49-year-old Italian left the Rossoneri last night after guiding AC Milan to a third-place finish in Serie A and it was announced this morning that he had signed a 3 year contract worth £15m.

However a statement on the Chelsea website this afternoon read "Chelsea have decided to split with Carlo Ancelotti by mutual agreement."

Sources close to the club have said that his inability to speak English and lack of immediate trophies were the cause for his termination. "Chelsea are trying to buy some history at the moment and Ancelotti was simply not able to achieve their demands and his English was terrible, I mean it was really terrible".

He was officially due to take over on 1st July after spending eight seasons at Milan. In that time he twice won the Champions League, in 2003 and 2007, and the Serie A title in 2004. He has also coached Italian sides Reggiana, Parma and Juventus.

Ancelotti was also a successful player, winning two league titles and two European Cups with Milan. Chelsea finished third in the Premier League this season and were semi-finalists in the Champions League but triumphed in the FA Cup final with a 2-1 win over Everton. It is speculated that Chelsea will have to pay Ancelotti £8m in compensation for cutting his contract short.

The previous record holder for the shortest amount of time in charge at Chelsea was convicted sex offender Graham Rix who was in charge of Chelsea in 2000 for 4 days within a week of serving six months in prison for having underage sex and indecently assaulting a 15-year-old girl, the daughter of a family friend. Recently several Chelsea managers have tried to beat Rix's record with Ray Wilkins unfortunate to miss out on the title after lasting for 6 days in February this year.

Now the record stands at 6 hours which will be hard to beat. Bookies are already speculating over Ancelotti's replacement, the next competitor of shortest amount of time as manager of Chelsea, with Gianfranco Zola leading the way at 9/1 and Mancini, Rijkaard, Eriksson, Hughes all close contenders to be Chelsea's sixth manager in 21 months following Jose Mourinho, Avram Grant, Luiz Felipe Scolari, Ray Wilkins, Guus Hiddink and Carlo Ancelotti who was not available to comment.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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