Written by Dark Gorman

Friday, 2 July 2004

image for Idiot torchbearer burns to death returning to the historic host city of the games of XXVIII Olympiad
Idiot pictured moments before combustion..

GREECE, Athens - An open-laced runner went up in sacred Olympic flame yesterday during torch relay celebrations held in the Greek capital city of Athens.
"An audience of 260 million city dwellers, 78 days, 78000 km, 3600 torchbearers, 46 recorded beggar-jumpings, 1 open lace and 1 fatal charring" Pete Munch, principal organizer of the OIC, said while he put the death of herculic cluts torchbearer Mi-Mi Danzpach in the context of the ancient Greek universe.
"She was doing just fine, running along with flame in hand, until OOPS!! she trips over on her lace, her face goes up in flames, hair too, body starts burning,,, and the next thing you know she's with Hades in the afterlife. I only hope ZEUS wasn't watching. He hates that shit. In fact I believe it was he who once said ‘Never play with matches!'"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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