Written by Wire Piddle

Thursday, 23 April 2009

image for 21 Polo Horses Die - Toker Blamed
Garth 'Happy' Bronstein - Polo Player For Hire

WELLINGTON, Fla. [UPI] The death of 21 polo horses at a competition in Florida this past weekend has confounded a team of veterinarians but fingers are pointing to a rather unique suspect - Garth 'Happy' Bronstein, Polo Player.

Garth, or as his colleagues call him, 'Hap', has a colorful career in the international jet-setters sport of Polo. Once a homeless person in Philadelphia, Hap found his vocation after getting off a bus in Florida and waking up in a horse stall one December morning in 1993.

In just four short months, Mr. Bronstein went from mucking stalls to riding 'the ponies'; a rate of progress that astounded the Palm Beach crowd. According to one seasoned veteran, Hap's success had little to do with his racing record and more to do with the fact that he seemed to be able to find the best weed wherever he traveled.

"Weed is really important," confessed Herman Velasquez, stable owner."It keeps the riders satisfied and lowers the owner's labor costs. Unfortunately, this type of game plan can blow up in your face....literally".

It is believed that Hap may have shared more than a spliff or two with all of the horses that were found dead. A post-mortem will undercover the extent of the horses' cannabis use. Some believe that an extended period of abuse is the cause while others believe a bad batch might be to blame.

"I can tell you right now it was one batch," Hap was heard to say. "Worst trip of my life. I kept clicking my shoes together and saying I wanted to be in Kansas. I've never even been to Kansas. Who the hell wants to end up there? Not me I can tell you that much."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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