The useless manager of Liverpool FC, Rafael Benitez, has once again proved his idiocy by, this time, claiming he is not on the verge of baldness.
The thinning manager (and by thinning I categorically do NOT mean his torso) is known for his tendencies to make up facts, and also his unwavering need to try to seem "normal".
In the past he has claimed to be "tanned", he has claimed to have "assed Britney Spears", he has claimed to "love porn", and he has wholheartedly attempted to learn English. Unfortunately, these attempts have made him a focus of ridicule, although in some quarters, notably scouse, he has earned alot of ridiculous respect, particularly for his alleged "assing" of Ms. Spears.
Yet, he seems to have surpassed all these past claims by now attempting to pursuade us that he has a "head full of thick hair". Benitez says "I only shave the front head, and keep a little on back, no, on purpo(se) no. I dont want forward hair line like Esteve (Steve) no. el oh el"
Well, having burrowed deeper I discovered that Rafa has actually been balding since the age of six. It is believed that he first noticed his hair falling out at seven years old when he was eating some muffins when a couple of hairs fell onto a raspberry. And it is since then that he has been hiding his baldness by claiming his noticeable hair loss is actually a hair style. Nonetheless, ever since this claim, Liverpool's streets have been filled with half bald men attempting to recreate what is now being called the "new Rachel", such is its popularity.
Well Done Rafa for starting another trend.
