TAMPA BAY, Fl. Tuesday - In a news conference, the Tampa Police Commissioner stated that "We have arrested several well known stealers as they tried to enter the city."
"We believe they were planning a big job on Sunday," he said, "And we have a zero tolerance on theft in this city."
"All those arrested came in from Pittsburg at the same time. It was very suspicious when they asked the directions to the Raymond James Stadium. We believe they anticipated taking advantage of the fact that City Police resources will be stretched on Sunday, for Superbowl XLIII."
"There is even suggestion that they intended to run off with the Superbowl itself."
"We also have a delegation from the Vatican in the city this weekend. A large number of Cardinals will be here, and we don't want anything to upset them. They are staying at the Caliente Spa & Resort (clothes-optional)."
Superbowl is an overblown excuse to party where crushed potato chips (crisps), tasteless lite beer and BBQ chicken wings will be the main attractions. In the heat of the competition, savages end up spilling beer and wiping their barbecue-stained fingers all over the place and each other.
