In preparation for the "Ashes" next year, which will decide whether England or Australia are second-best to the Indians, Ricky Ponting's bowlers have come up with a new strategy. They are practising carrying players off the field in case they cannot bowl them out.
An Indian yoga expert has been brought into the training camp to brief the Aussies on which parts are holy, and how to avoid tickling to fine leg.
When asked about whether England had any plans up their sleeves, other than asking Monty Panesar to play for India, the selectors said they might include Michael Vaughan, who can cry at strategic moments.
