Thursday, 4 September 2008

image for USA Ryder Cup captain picks Monty as wildcard
Monty picked as USA wild card.

In a shock twist today, USA Ryder Cup Captain Paul Azinger picked Colin Montgomerie as a wild card for the USA team, after J.B Holmes pulled out because of toothache.

Following his omission from the European wild card picks, Azinger revealed that Montys' brothers wifes sister was a distant relative of Kevin Costner, the famed American actor in the golfing film 'Tin Cup'.

In a similar vein to UK footballers born in their country who then adopt another country to play for as they are not considered good enough, Azinger relied on a phonecall from Costner telling him of the distant relation.

Said Azinger - "Kevin called me at my home to tell me the news and I nearly choked on my bagel. After checking his story with the Spoof, I rang Monty and asked him if he would consider playing for the USA team, to which Monty replied 'You bet your ass I would'"

Added Azinger "It's a great pleasure to have Monty alongside all the other poor golfers on our side and I can see ourselves finishing third in the Ryder Cup"

Later that day at a press conference, Monty, wearing a cowboy hat and chewing a mouthful of baccy said, "Yes Siree Bob, it's swell, y'all should be glad I made it in the squad, cus let's face it, this cotton pickin team aint worth shit without me".

Montys new wife admitted that he had not been taking his tablets lately and ushered him out of the room.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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