New Chelsea Coach Strict Disciplinarian Scolari: Just Ask My Wife!

Funny story written by Pointer

Monday, 16 June 2008

image for New Chelsea Coach Strict Disciplinarian Scolari: Just Ask My Wife!
Scolari loves discipline

Scolari's reputation as a strict disciplinarian precedes him as he takes the helm of Chelsea football on July one. His present and former players say things like: He's his own man...Keeps his own counsel...demands respect.

Scolari himself, 59, talked more about Portugal's failure to pay him enough and how the Chelsea job will help him retire sooner. When reporters asked him about the rumors of his rigid rules, all the South American would say was that you have to talk to his wife.

The TheSpoof.com sports and sexsual advice columnist flew to Rio to have a chat with la senora Scolari. When asked about the discipline Scolari exercises, his wife at first was shy.

Finally after lots of coaxing and a bottle of Madeira, she told all. In a barely audible whisper the smallish, plain looking housewife volunteered: "Luiz Felipe...ooo, that man loves discipline. Sometimes it's the cane, other times a little riding crop."

"He is never satisfied until I ride him hard and put him away wet...if you know what I mean.", snickered the timid little lady while she rhythmically struck her thigh with a leather strap.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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