"Diving is my life," claims Ronaldo

Funny story written by Bilal

Monday, 2 June 2008

It has been revealed by Cristiano Ronaldo that he was actually trained by former Newcastle United flop Faustino Asprilla who was famous for his diving abilities.

"People compare me with the likes of Luis Figo, but I think I'm more like Asprilla," said Ronaldo smiling.

Ronaldo was observed by a number of experts and analysts who observed fascinating and shocking similarities between the king and the heir. "Yes it's the right time to reveal that I trained Cristiano," commented Asprilla, "He was always a great diver both on and off the pitch." It was a hard job finding Asprilla after he fled from England on the day he was due to sign contract with Darlington.

Cristiano Ronaldo was caught by our reporters while he was preparing to scubadive. Ronaldo revealed that he has tried every kind of diving except skydiving. "I know this is surprising but I haven't tried skydiving and it's the only kind of diving I'm yet to try. I'm afraid of heights but for diving, I'll do anything."

"When I was a child and the school I attended, there were kids everywhere with something special and I always felt awkward and complexed. Once I found what I was good at, I became determined to spealize so that no one could be better than me and I did it."

Ronaldo was sent to the "School for Extraordinary Children" in Portugal after being selected among a bunch of 5 students by his school for his extraordinary diving skills.

"Cristiano was always a dull boy with no exceptional qualities until the day he realized his diving abilities and since then he hasn't looked back. I helped him to the extent I could, even sent him to Faustino Asprilla for some training," His dad told us proudly.

Manchester United boss Sir Alex Ferguson said, "Well I can only be proud of my boy! Old Trafford has seen many divers in its history but not a diver like him and he has kept the tradition alive."
"Diving is my life, I want to be remembered more as a diver than as a footballer or even a good person," said Cristiano.

Upon being asked about his heir, Asprilla said, "My perfect heir? You don't need to ask for an answer, Cristiano is the answer and I'm proud of him."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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