Drogba Reveals Near-Death Experiences

Written by Adi

Sunday, 4 May 2008

A week after lashing out at Rafa Benitez on his claims that -"Drogba cannot remain on his feet for more than 20 seconds", there has been a remarkable revelation by the Chelsea striker who wants to go play for Milan.

Drogba claims that on several occasions in the past, in matches against Liverpool, on being fiercely tackled by Carragher's magnetic field (when the ref and everyone else including Chelsea players thought Carrager got the ball and didn't touch Drogba), he actually had fallen and died and could see himself going through a tunnel to heaven. However, he says, the cause of his survival was that at the end of the tunnel he always found God shaking hands with Abrahamovich and telling him Roman had bought him back.

This whole process would last for 6-15 seconds he claims, and then he would always find himself lying on the Anfield turf and feeling fit as ever, ready to get on with the action again (thanks to god).

This death process took lesser amount of time whenever the ball was in play around him and there was a goal scoring opportunity - "surprisingly" he says.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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