Bastards Reunited Requests Sports Schedules

Sunday, 23 March 2008

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Did Daddy play for the New York Giants, New York Yankees, or New York Knicks?

Bastards Reunited, an organization attempting to match parents with their illegitimate children which was reported on by Carina Eta previously, is going after new source material. Knowing the propensity for professional athletes to pick up various women for one night stands while on the road, the organization has requested the schedules of all major league baseball, football, and basketball teams going back 60 years.

Jackie Spencer, secretary for the non-profit organization, said "Have you attended a high school sporting event, or even a t-ball game, lately? Most of the kids come from single parent homes and have been raised only by their mothers. They do not know the identity of their fathers, and Mom admits that she was too drunk that night to remember exactly who he was."

"If you track the birth back nine months, there was generally a professional team playing some sport in the area. These young athletes come by their DNA honestly, even though their fathers have not owned up to it."

"No wonder so many players say hello or wave to their moms after scoring a goal; they don't know who their fathers are. We hope to use these schedules to find all of the little Peyton Manning and Kobe Bryant Juniors and but them back together with their Dads."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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