McLaren F1 Boss Don Rennis is reportedly losing his legendary cool, as he searches for some positive media reporting of his team's activities.
"Every time I google 'McLaren', I come up with news about some bloody soccer freak! I don't care how often they call it "football" and ignore Gaelic, Union, League and American, it still ain't real sport. Motorsport is the world's premier sporting challenge. Just ask Barnie Egglrock, he'll back me up.
"Who can deny the thrill of watching 1000hp machines following each other around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around... Then you have those marvellous pit stops, when you can see, live before you very eyes, a change of 4 wheels, refuelling and rejoining the circuit, all in under 10 seconds. Heart stopping stuff. And if you're really lucky the car that has stopped may even advance a place or two. What more can you ask?
"You also get the tension of wondering if, in spite of all we know about the sport, someone will actually OVERTAKE! Oh, be still my beating heart.
"When will Google realise that McLaren is about sport, not about a bunch of losers kicking an inflated bag around a field for no good purpose?"
Rennis was last seen with 3 men in white coats, leading him towards an ambulance.
