Chapman Shoots down Lennon, Ono Distraught

Funny story written by david alsatian

Tuesday, 7 August 2007

image for Chapman Shoots down Lennon, Ono Distraught
City Ground in Nottingham

LEE CHAPMAN last night slaughtered Nottingham Forest new boy Neil Lennon, by branding the former Celtic skipper "a clapped-out muppet".

Chapman, a former Forest favourite, believes boss Colin Calderwood has made a massive mistake bringing the veteran Irish midfielder to the City Ground.

Taking time off from banging Leslie Ash's head off their coffee table, he said: "Lennon's totally past it and I can't believe Forest have signed him.

"He was coasting for the last few years down in Jocko-land - even I could play defensive mid there.

"Neil will be found out in League One - he's a clapped-out muppet."

Chapman's unprovoked attack did not go down well with Japanese World Cup star Shinji Ono.

The midfielder struck up a friendship with Lennon when his former club Feyenoord visited Glasgow to take on Rangers several years ago in the UEFA Cup.

And Ono hit back: "I won't stand back and let an idiot like Chapman sully Neil's name.

"Lenny's a top bloke. He spotted me a fiver in Glasgow so I could buy some beef chow mein at the Canton Express after we stumbled out the Garage at 3am."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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