Donald Rumsfeld sees 'Significant Progress' in Barry Bonds being stuck on 754

Written by SpaceElevator

Thursday, 2 August 2007

image for Donald Rumsfeld sees 'Significant Progress' in Barry Bonds being stuck on 754
Rumsfeld: always the cranky optimist

US and A (XYZ News) - Since stepping down as US Secretary of Defense, Donald Rumsfeld is enjoying the things he loves most. Namely, playing the guitar, testifying before Congress, and following baseball.

"Condoleezza and I used to spend considerable time and effort dissecting baseball statistics," he admitted. "What an amazing diversion from reality, really, simply amazing!"

When asked to describe the current status of hitter Barry Bonds' attempt to break Hank Aaron's career home run record, Rumsfeld responded:

"Just because he has not actually hit a home run in several games does not mean that he is not making significant progress toward that goal. Another way to look at it is that he has made a series of 'micro' home runs, which added together would result in that extra home run that he needs in order to tie the record. If I were you people, I might question the very thing that you are asking."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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