Written by queen mudder

Sunday, 16 February 2014

image for Most Brits 'sick to death of bloody curling' Russian Olympic authorities told
Another nauseating image

Sochi, Black Sea - "I mean, it's not even a proper sport like Yuletide cock fighting or blizzard bear bating, innit?" a UK National TV Viewers Association spokesman told Sochi organisers today as an outbreak of near brain death by Olympics TV coverage swept the ravaged British realm.

Over 100** hours of saturation coverage has so far been devoted to the lamest of winter sports to the exclusion of staunch national favorites - such as sub-zero dwarf tossing on compacted ice ponds and Nazi-bashing over the edge of the Matterhorn.

Other complaints about the Winter Games throw scorn on what Olympcs fans say are the puniest of cheapskate floral bouquets given to winners on the medals podium.

Last week a number of critics even suggested they'd been manufactured out of recycled toxic plastic left over from the Ukraine's Chernobyl disaster.

Fortunately, tomorrow's revised Games program could see authorities acquiesce to criticism and squeeze in some Men's Topless Downhill Slalom if reports from the Putinsville Olympic Village are to be believed.

** Broadcasters have confirmed that the 100 hours to date 'probably feels closer to 200' if you factor in the wind-chill.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Sochi 2014, curling

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