Doc Rivers as Hamlet: Heading to Broadway?

Funny story written by Ossurworld

Tuesday, 18 June 2013

After a half dozen seasons as understudy to Rajon Rondo, the veteran coach Doc Rivers is ready to take his own version of Hamlet: Prince of the NBA on the road.

Fans are expected to pay big bucks to hear Rivers recite the famous soliloquy: "To Clip or not to Clip, that is the question…."

Few Celtics fans ever expected the reliable and affable coach to give up his juicy role as Polonius season after season to go for the starring role as the indecisive prince seeking revenge.

It takes a special man to hold up the skull of Kevin Garnett in the graveyard and lament, "Alas, poor Garnett, I knew him well…"

Old Man Rivers is expected to keep on rolling along in the new West Coast production in time to be ready for the 2014 NBA Finals.

Rivers has been heard practicing some of his notable speeches, like: "Oh, what a rogue and peasant slave am I to work only for $7million per year…"

For some the highlight of the production is the scene in which Rivers tells Danny Ainge where to go: "Get thee to a nunnery!"
For years Doc has been saying, "The play's the thing in which to catch the conscience of the Heat…"

And Doc has no remorse at all at sending his latest aides, the Rosencrantz and Guildenstern of the Celtics, into oblivion. So long, Jason Terry and Courtney Lee.

Showtime for the new production of Prince Hamlet will open in the Fall at the Los Angeles Forum. In the meantime, Danny Ainge is rehearsing a revival of A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum…

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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