Celtics Look Like Jack the Ripper's Victims

Funny story written by Ossurworld

Wednesday, 24 April 2013

The Celtics are taking on water faster than it can be bailed.

If you want to bail out the Celtics, have a miracle sent in from Fatima, Lourdes, or the Mount of Olives. Ask Rajon Rondo to put on his superman suit, replete in green.

With the ever-promised playoffs finally here, the Finals are still likely far off for this team. Wait till next year, fans, or sometime later in the decade.

All season opinions centered on avoiding the Heat in the first round, which would have resulted in a departure faster an automatic weapon's recoil.

There are more clouds of gray in New York than any Russian play could guarantee, in the immortal words of Ira Gershwin.

Now it appears that those pesky bad calls, so often game changers during the season, have come back to haunt the Celtics more than a repeat episode of Ghost Hunters.

Kevin Garnett suffers in the style of a victim from the notorious bad calls of officials. It's a serial crime against the Celtics; the nature of the officials ought to be called into question, but Jack the Ripper is dressed as Carmelo Anthony in this tale.

Whatever happened to the notion that bad calls only go against novices in the NBA? We presume Garnett is a novice of 17 seasons.
Those who claimed the Celtics were better off without Rondo are now wondering why the team has no point guard.

Maybe this season's Celtics team is not quite the Titanic, but being on the Lusitania is not a better option.

Yes, rats are leaving this ship with alacrity, taking their storied Green cheese with them.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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