Tom Brady Takes It One Foot at a Time

Funny story written by Ossurworld

Thursday, 24 January 2013

Insult kissed injury to spirit when the NFL fined Tom Brady for imitating a Rockette in his last gasp of the season.

Not only did the Patriots lose the championship game, Tom found the NFL pilfering $10,000 from his wallet.

Fortunately Tom Brady has an Aluma wallet that is airtight and watertight. And, his wife also is one of the highest paid models in the world. She drops $10000 on tips to waiters, concierges, and hairdressers on a weekly basis.

The more distressing fact is that the NFL watches Detroit's Rockette Suh kick players in their vulnerable G-spot and never fines him. Tom Brady took care to protect himself from thug muggings by the Ravens with preventative drop kick-and now must pay the price.

The Ravens were manhandling Patriot players from start to finish, and Brady simply protected his family jewels by taking out the jewels of Ed Reed with a well-placed game of footsie.

For a cottage industry of media shills who make their living complaining about the favoritism shown to Tom Brady, this penalty is a harsh blow to the groin. How can they now claim Tom is the beneficiary of blind referees?

Tom's sliding scale of hoof into sack may be what the doctor ordered in New England, but it was not enough of a kick to the head.

We think a man of Tom's age should be commended for showing that he is spry and able to split the uprights of an opposing team.

Not since Ty Cobb slid into second base with cleats ready to slice and dice have we seen such athletic aggression.

Since Tom Brady was unable to do much with his arm during the game, we found some solace that his feet still can work when needed.

Tom Brady's kick was nothing short of a Rudolph Nureyev performance in Spectre de la Rose.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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