Red Sox on Bridge of San Luis Rey When It Collapses

Funny story written by Ossurworld

Saturday, 25 August 2012

The metaphoric tale of a bridge one year in the Andes Mountains may apply to the Boston Red Sox during this bridge year. In 1714 the San Luis Rey Bridge collapsed, killing five people.

Thornton Wilder wrote his cautionary tale about the fate of so-called innocent people in 1927 when Murderers' Row dominated baseball.

When the bridge to nowhere collapsed with Adrian Gonzalez, Josh Beckett, Carl Crawford and Nick Punto on it, fans may well ask why. We shall endeavor to explain.

It would seem that no one is ever truly innocent, and punishment takes many forms.

In Wilder's tale, the monk who questioned God's logic in the bridge collapse was put on trial by the Grand Inquisition in 1714.

Right now the Boston media has put the Red Sox on trial and decided to push them off the bridge. It's too late.

Alas, it was not necessary. They did not need to be pushed, or even to jump. They were standing there with cell phones in hand, texting ownership when the bridge simply gave way. They fell all the way to Los Angeles.

Within the past week the funeral cortege of beloved Red Sox icon Johnny Pesky crossed the same bridge safely. Of course, Beckett, Gonzalez, or Crawford were not on the bridge at that time.

Bobby Valentine stood on the bridge and threatened to jump in late July when 17 of his players met with ownership and discussed his dismissal. The bridge was unmoved.

Red Sox ownership has crossed the bridge many times in their luxury box during this season with tons of commemorative bricks, and the bridge did not collapse.

Yet, this week (as the most bloated payroll in baseball crossed the bridge to reach oblivion) they found themselves in free fall on the waiver wire.

The most ironic point of all is that fallen players on the bridge will fall into the wildcard spot of the playoffs.

Literature and baseball teach many lessons.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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